My Dear Corrupted Brothers and Sisters,It is with grave concern that I'm writing to you today to warn you against an evil design by one of those NGO groups called 'Fifth Pillar India' who have the audacity to claim that they can fight or even limit our all-pervasive activities.
This organization has printed over 200,000 zero-denomination notes that resemble Indian currency (see the attached figure) and has begun distributing them around the country. It is asking people to give the notes to anyone demanding a bribe.
Please note carefully that these so-called “zero rupee notes” resemble a Rs 50 note in colour and is slightly bigger than a Rs 1,000 note. Instead of the usual ‘I promise to pay the bearer a sum of x rupees’ pledge on a currency note, the replica will carry the most laughable pledge ‘I promise neither to accept nor give bribes’.
My concern is that this organization, however small it might be as compared to our strength and power, somehow managed to distribute these notes in cities like Coimbatore, Thriuvallur, Vellore, Kanchipuram, Vizhupuram, Puducherry, Salem, Trichy, Madurai, Thirunelveli, and Kanyakumari, Bangalore and Mumbai. They have already set up a 24-hour call centre in Chennai to help people who need assistance dealing with or fighting against us.
The notes are spreading fast and unless we unite and take a firm stand against such anti-social activities, we'll have to limit our own activities and bear a great loss in months to follow. In one incident in Chennai, one auto-rickshaw driver was pulled over by one of our fellow policeman who simply made his legitimate demand that the driver could go if he was ‘taken care of’. The driver gave him such fake notes instead and our innocent brother had let him go without checking the note!
The trust and morality on which our trade was based upon are evaporating at a rapid rate in these cities and our innocent brothers and sisters are getting victimized. If any more of such incidents take place, please immediately contact the local MP, MLA and leaders of the opposition party and make them work for you.
I call all of you to look carefully at all notes and count all of those before you help any person to receive what he or she is supposed to get anyway through his/her constitutional right. I understand that counting is a time consuming and tedious process and most of you have forgotten elementary math, but you can always chose to hike your bribe fee for the extra time that you'll put in your office neglecting your wife and children. Also, make all efforts to make their life more miserable by following other old tactics like 'Come back tomorrow' or 'you need to wait for another 3 hours' etc ...
Even on this frustrating day, let me wish all of you 'Happy bribe-taking'!
Chairman,
All India Coordination Committee of Corrupted Colleagues (AICCCC)
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